JOKES

Joke Of The Day:- The Doctor & The Engineer – Who Do You Think Is More Intelligent?

• youngkola
• July 18, 2014
• Jokes and Riddle
• 0

An Engineer was not getting a job even after two years after his pass-out so he decided to opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic:

Any treatment in $300 & if we cant treat, we will pay you back $1000

A CLEVER Doctor thought he will make the engineer fool and comes to do fraud & thinking to get $1000.

He says to the Engineer:

I cant feel any taste on my tongue…

Engineer asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22.

After that the MAN shouts: “What the F**k is this? …its URINE!!

The Engineer says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.

The CLEVER Doctor was angry as he lost $300.

After 2 weeks the same doctor comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.

CLEVER Doctor : I’ve lost my memory.

Engineer: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.

DOCTOR : Wait Engineer but that medicine is for sense of taste.

Engineer: Congratulations your memory is back.

Moral: Don’t try to be over-smart with Engineers. Have a wonderful day….

PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE WORLD

Mark 16:15, “And He said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature.”

       Jesus commanded His disciples to GO into all the world and PREACH THE GOSPEL. The key word is “Go.” Most churches today don't GO as the Bible commands. Rather, they sit or remain idle. They are as those unfaithful servants in Matthew 20:6 of whom Jesus said, “Why stand ye here all the day idle?” (Note: All Scripture references are only from the trustworthy King James Bible).
The most important duty of every Christian is to go soulwinning. 2nd Corinthians 5:10-11, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men...” Every born-again believer has a responsibility to preach the Gospel, i.e., to share the Good News of Jesus Christ crucified with lost sinners so that they can be forgiven and spend eternity in Heaven.
But what is the gospel? An alarming number of Christians are zealous to preach the gospel, but they don't even know what the gospel is. They are sincere, but they've never been taught. There is an apostate gospel in America that says to ask “Jesus into your heart” to be saved. That is a false gospel. There is another false gospel which says, “Make a full surrender to God. Amend your ways. Make a commitment to Christ” to be saved. No, no, that is not the gospel!
The Bible defines the gospel in 1st Corinthians15:1-4...

1st Corinthians 15:1-4, “Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.”

There you have it—the Biblical gospel (good news) is the DEATH, BURIAL and RESURRECTION of the Lord Jesus Christ! The way to be saved is to acknowledge your guilt of sin and receive the gospel as payment for your sins. That is the good news... Jesus died, was buried and rose again three days later for our justification.
Carefully notice that the Bible does NOT say to go into the world and make music. The Bible does NOT say to go into the world and start a business. The Bible does NOT say to go into the world and write books. No, rather, God's inspired Words instruct us to PREACH THE GOSPEL. We read in Romans 10:13-14, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in Him of Whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?” The great need of the hour in today's churches is preaching preachers who teach their flock to be soulwinners.
Matthew 28:19-20 are commonly referred to as “The Great Commission.” “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Most believers fail to realize that there are two parts to The Great Commission: 1) Preaching the Gospel, and 2) Teaching new converts how to be soulwinners. The Lord wants us to go soulwinning and then teach those whom we have the privilege of leading to the Lord how to become soulwinners themselves. There is a Biblical mandate for each believer to go forth preaching the Gospel. We must give account to God for each day of our life (Romans 14:12).
Throughout the Midwestern part of the United States, there's an egg company which prints Bible verses inside every carton of eggs. They are planting the Seed of God's Word into the hearts of people. Amen! There is something that each of us can do to influence others to receive Christ. Look what this man of God is doing to get the Gospel message out to the lost. Romans 10:17 tells us that “faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” We don't need to be eloquent in speech or a gifted writer or a theologian to get people saved, we just need to tell lost sinners that they need Christ's righteousness, because we have none of our own to offer God.
This sin-cursed world has been lied to by false ministers to think that the only way to Heaven is to do good works and stop sinning. That is the same type of self-righteousness that Cain offered God, which God rejected (Genesis 4:1-5). Although God does not give anyone permission to sin, living a separated or surrendered life for God has nothing to do with salvation. The Bible proclaims in Romans 3:23a, “For all have sinned.” The Bible condemns all mankind, because we have all sinned. There are no good people (Romans 3:10-23). There are some good men as far as sinners go, but they are still sinful men deserving of Hell. No amount of self-righteousness can make up for the sins one commits. This is why Jesus lovingly paid our sin debt, because we could not. What a precious Savior!
The Bible does NOT tell us to go into the world making religious music, or to make a career of singing or entertaining. These are falsehoods that some people claim as a “ministry” without preaching the Gospel. Many people nowadays have wrongfully slapped a “ministry” label on pursuits, activities and functions that are totally devoid of preaching the Gospel. Many pro-homosexual, pro-abortion and pro-feminist groups have falsely labeled their evil works as a “ministry.” They are sinister ministers of Satan. The Devil is a beautiful liar. Genuine Biblical ministries PREACH THE GOSPEL of Jesus Christ to a lost and dying world in an effort to get people saved. What good does it profit a man if you feed him a bowl of soup and provide him some clothing, but fail to warn him concerning the wrath of God which abideth upon Christ-rejecters. John 3:36, “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”
Oh, how this world needs Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Allah is a fraud. Buddha is a fake. Zoroaster is a phony. The Pope is a false prophet. The Virgin Mary did NOT remain a virgin. Muhammad is an imposter. Confucius died confused. The stone covering the entrance to Jesus' tomb was not rolled away to permit the Lord to exit; but rather, to show the world that Jesus had already risen from the dead. Jesus is alive evermore! Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, THE ALMIGHTY (Revelation 1:8). Amen!
Whatever ministry you may be involved in, it is no work for God if you fail to PREACH THE GOSPEL. I wouldn't give you a dime for a Bible scholar who doesn't go soulwinning. I wouldn't give you a dime for a Gospel singer who doesn't attempt to win the audience to Christ by preaching the Gospel. To the same extent that God has given someone influence over people, to that same extent He will hold that individual accountable for PREACHING THE GOSPEL to lost sinners (Luke 12:48). America's theological seminaries are nothing more than spiritual cemeteries, filled with dried-up corpses who never go soulwinning, never pass out a Gospel tract, never shed a tear over lost souls. May God give us more Bible-believing, Christ-honoring, sin-hating, soul-loving, Christians who PREACH THE GOSPEL.

U.S. House Passes Bill Allowing Obamacare Insurance Exemptions for Religious Reasons

WASHINGTON – The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill on Tuesday that would allow Americans exemptions from purchasing insurance under Obamacare if their religious beliefs prohibit them from doing so.
The Equitable Access to Care and Health (EACH) Act (H.R. 1814) was introduced by Representative Aaron Shock (R-Ill) and was backed with the support of 216 co-sponsors. The purpose of the bill is to “amend section 5000A of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to provide an additional religious exemption from the individual health coverage mandate.”
According to the legislation, waivers would be granted to anyone who “files a sworn statement, as part of the return of tax for the taxable year, that the individual was not covered under minimum essential coverage at any time during such taxable year and that the individual’s sincerely held religious beliefs would cause the individual to object to medical health care that would be covered under such coverage.”
However, if the person received medical care in the year prior, the exemption would be denied. Chiropractic care, dental services, midwifery services and optometry appointments would not count against the individual.

“Congress today reinforced basic constitutional protections for sincere believers of all faiths. Among the many problems with Obamacare are the insufficient safeguards for people of faith,” Shock said in a statement following the passage of the Act. “H.R. 1814 provides a strong provision that guarantees First Amendment religious liberties for all Americans while protecting U.S. taxpayers from potential fraud. Congress has long sought to uphold both these commitments, and has again today affirmed our founding principles.”
“Congress is not likely to reach agreement today—or any day—on the underlying law. Obamacare is as controversial now as it was when it was enacted, and perhaps more so,” he continued. “But we do agree that Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. On that, the American people can be assured there is strong bipartisan agreement.”
The bill will now head to the Senate for a vote.

 

While some Americans may seek an exemption from the insurance requirement altogether, many Christians are choosing rather to enroll in a health sharing ministry, which would avoid the payment of funds towards abortion services. As previously reported, the Affordable Care Act exempts members of Christian health sharing ministries, of which there are three: Medi-Share, Samaritan Ministries and Christian Healthcare Ministries.
“There are some mandates that are written in the law regarding the coverage of contraception and abortion that certainly many Bible-believing Christians are going to have objection to,” Tony Meggs, president of Medi-Share, told Christian News Network. “Healthcare sharing ministries are an acceptable and legal alternative to those insurance mandates that require insurance carriers to cover medical services that Christians would find objectionable.”
“It’s a great option for people of faith to provide for healthcare needs without insurance. It’s affordable, it’s Biblical and it’s personal,” James Lansberry, executive vice president of Samaritan Ministries, agreed. “Insurance and healthcare has generally become much less personal over the years, but having those notes and cards come in from other members when you’re sick, being able to know exactly where your money is going—those are all blessings to our members that we’re all excited about.”

Stenographer Ejected from House Floor, Hospitalized for Speech Says God Spoke Through Her

WASHINGTON – The stenographer for the U.S. House of Representatives who was escorted from the House floor last October is speaking out in a YouTube video, explaining why she felt moved to present a speech to Congress during a vote to end the government shutdown.

Dianne Reidy, who keeps record of proceedings for the House, approached the microphone on October 16 as the vote was underway. She then began to present an admonishment to Congress, gesturing with her hand as she spoke.

“He (God) will not be mocked,” Reidy declared three times, according to reports and audio footage.
The next segment of audio is disputed by Reidy and her husband, who believe that the speech was rather given on the elevator rather than at the podium.

“The greatest deception here is that this is not one nation under God,” she stated. “It never was. It would not have been.”
“The Constitution would not have been written by Freemasons,” she continued as she was approached by two members of House security, who began pulling her away by her arms. “They go against God. You cannot serve two masters. Praise be to God, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Reidy was then escorted to George Washington University Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation and released.


“I remember getting up to the podium and after saying, ‘God will not be mocked.’ I don’t have a memory of anything else that was said that evening until I was escorted off the floor,” she stated in a YouTube video recorded with her husband Dan last week.
Reidy said that God had been waking her up in the middle of the night in the weeks prior, and that she knew that He was going to use her in some way.
“I knew [God] was doing something and I didn’t know what it was,” she explained. “As it got closer, I knew that God was going to speak through me … and I knew that it was going to be during the vote.”
But Reidy also outlined that she struggled a lot in the days leading up to the incident.
“This was a dying to the flesh,” she said. “I thought that I was going to lose my family. I thought that I was going to lose my freedom. I thought that I could end up in prison. I didn’t know. A lot of this was grieving what was to come.”
Reidy noted that she had a one in seven chance of being assigned to take the vote that night, as stenographers are assigned on rotation. But she felt that she would be the one selected, and would then have to do what God asked her to do.
“I’m not a protester. I’m not a conspiracy theorist,” Reidy stated in the video. “This is not anything that I had a dog in this fight.”
“I didn’t lose my mind,” she added. “I didn’t have a breakdown. … I remember once the elevator door shut [when they escorted me away], I felt this relief, like, ‘Thank God that’s over with.’”

Although Reidy lost her job as a House stenographer over the incident, her husband Dan says that she did what was right.
“She’s my hero,” he stated in the video explanation. “She was obedient to God.”

School District Corrects Teachers Union Contract Giving ‘Special Consideration’ to Non-Christians

FERNDALE, Mich. – A Michigan school district has corrected a teachers union contract that gives ‘special consideration’ to non-Christians
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Officials with the Ferndale School District state that they were unaware that language in the teachers union contract suggested discrimination against Christian applicants.
“Should there be two (2) or more of these applicants with equal qualifications for the position and one (1) or more of these applicants with equal qualifications is a current employee, the current employee with the greatest seniority shall be assigned,” the contract read. “Special consideration shall be given to women and/or minority defined as: Native American, Asian American, Latino, African American and those of the non-Christian faith. However, in all appointments to vacant positions, the Board’s decision shall be final.”
The Mackinac Center for Public Policy had recently discovered the language in reviewing contracts throughout the state. It then contacted the school district to express concern.
“Earlier this week, Ferndale Public Schools learned of antiquated language in employee contracts that we somehow missed when recently bargaining contracts,” district spokeswoman Shelley Rose wrote to FOX News. “This language dates back to at least 1979, and is not in compliance with current legislation. Fortunately, the district also has newer and strong anti-discrimination language in the contracts and has never, in our known history, enacted this now out-of-date language.”
“Ferndale Public Schools takes the issue of discrimination seriously and has acted swiftly to resolve this unfortunate contract language issue,” she said.
The district asserts that it does not discriminate against Christians, and states that it is unsure how the language at issue had been overlooked for so long. The latest teachers union contract had been for 2011-2012, but was extended to 2017.
EAG News notes that Michigan’s Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination in employment on the basis of religion.